


Dried Ink

by nuttinonice



Category: SK8 the Infinity (Anime)
Genre: Anal Sex, Anxiety, Bottom Sakurayashiki Kaoru | Cherry Blossom, Crying, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Flashbacks, Happy Ending, Light Angst, M/M, MatchaBlossom, One-Sided Sakurayashiki Kaoru | Cherry Blossom/Shindo Ainosuke | Adam, Oral Sex, Past Sakurayashiki Kaoru | Cherry Blossom/Shindo Ainosuke | Adam, Top Nanjo Kojiro | Joe, cherryjoe, post-episode 9
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-17
Updated: 2021-03-17
Packaged: 2021-03-25 15:15:04
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,896
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30091062
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nuttinonice/pseuds/nuttinonice
Summary: Cherry remembers the first time he pushed Joe away and the night he let him in.
Relationships: Nanjo Kojiro | Joe/Sakurayashiki Kaoru | Cherry Blossom
Comments: 8
Kudos: 324





	Dried Ink

**Author's Note:**

> I hope this feels in character, I kind of flew through writing it just for fun! I'm a fan of past-cherry going through some angst related to adam and joe being a sweetheart who's there for him even though he's SO IN LOVE WITH CHERRY. These boys are a mess, enjoy!

“You don’t have to carry me.”

“What good is dating a gorilla if I can’t carry you up the stairs?”

“I don’t want to feel like my  _ lover _ ,” Cherry admits with a small huff, “is literally King Kong.”

“You can not climb stairs right now.”

“I could-“

“You came in here in a  _ wheelchair _ .”

“And I made it just fine, didn’t I?” Cherry holds his head high even as Joe carries him over the threshold of the bedroom. 

“It’s okay to accept a little help when your bones are literally broken,” Joe sets him gently on the bed and presses a kiss to the top of his head that Cherry crinkles his nose at, but secretly enjoys. He tilts his head up for Joe to take his glasses and set them on the bedside table, yawning a little as he rubs his eyes.

He can’t remember the last time he slept at his own place instead of here above the restaurant, unless it was for an early morning work event near his apartment. It’s not that he  _ can’t  _ sleep alone or anything like that, it’s just that… well, it’s quite convenient living above a restaurant when he needs a quiet space to think or a generous glass of wine. It makes things easier after  _ S _ if he’s able to just catch a ride with Joe to the same place and go right to sleep.

“Come here,” Joe says, reaching for the comforter, but Cherry bats his hand away.

“I don’t need to be tucked in, thank you.” Cherry dismisses him and tries to hang on to a smidgen of his pride as he attempts to maneuver himself under the blankets with only one arm and heavy bandages weighing down his injured left leg. Stupid  _ fucking _ Adam. 

“Kaoru,” Joe says, his voice low and level, unprovoking (for once) as he takes the duvet out from under the injured leg and pulls the whole thing up to Cherry’s chest. “Better?”

“...Slightly.”

“You shouldn’t have snuck out of the hospital,” Joe says, one hand rubbing absentmindedly up and down Cherry’s thigh over the blankets. It’s a touch that’s subtle enough for Cherry to enjoy without teasing Joe for being such a sap. The truth is, he really doesn’t mind being doted on — especially in this state. 

“They were being over dramatic.”

“They tried to give you an IV or something, huh?”

Cherry’s face pinkens nearly to the tone of his hair. They had. They wanted to poke and prod him every which way and he simply doesn’t see what part of his breaks and bruises calls for so many  _ needles _ . 

“You should listen to your doctors, Kaoru. Do I need to come with you just to make sure?” He reaches out and tucks a strand of hair back behind Cherry’s ear. “I mean all I have to do is dare you and you’ll apparently face any stupid fear.”

“Don’t remind me about the lip ring,” Cherry actually laughs a little. “I was hot, but I was traumatized.”

“I dared you to get your lip pierced, I never said to do it with a sewing needle and an ice cube.”

“It was free that way.”

“You’re incorrigible,” Joe says just as the hand on his thigh starts to slide a little higher.

“And  _ you’re  _ insatiable.” Cherry rolls his eyes, but he doesn’t bat the hand away. 

“I just want to make sure you’re okay. How’s your head?”

“Concussed.”

“Kaoru!”

“Don’t get so worked up, the doctors said I can sleep. I set Carla to wake me up every few hours just to be sure.”

Joe rolls his eyes this time and shakes his head, walking up to where he’d placed Cherry’s high-tech board by his dresser and shutting it away in the closet. “I’m not trusting your weird robots. I’ll wake you up throughout the night.”

“Don’t be so protective,” Cherry says but shuts his mouth tight when Joe raises an eyebrow at him. Honestly, he’s surprised Joe isn’t a little mad at him. Evolving from friends to… something more in their adult years had come with a promise — that Cherry wouldn’t go seeking after something (someone) that had hurt him so badly in the past. After that race, his heart is well intact, but his pride is wounded and he’d ended up in the hospital at the end of the night. “Sorry,” he mumbles quietly, watching as Joe undresses from his chef’s whites down to a pair of dorky (but tight) pink boxer briefs.

_ ‘For you!’ _ Joe had proudly exclaimed the day he first bought them, gesturing enthusiastically to Cherry’s hair. 

He likes how Joe’s bedroom has slowly morphed to fit the both of them. Some of his calligraphy is framed above the dresser, a large bonsai tree in the corner of the room, and a charging station for Carla next to the night stand. He would never tell him out loud, but it feels more like home here then his own place. 

“You’re not gonna get out of talking tonight.”

“Oh?”

“Kaoru,” Joe says his name with a tint of caution and a tone of concern. Cherry shuts up. 

When Joe comes to the bed, Cherry doesn’t protest, lifting his head and letting Joe help him remove the sling from his arm. The bed sinks with Joe’s weight next to him and Cherry uses it as an excuse to roll a little closer to him. The bedroom gets a little cold at night after all — what is he supposed to catch a cold? 

“We need to stop enabling him,” Joe murmurs as one hand comes up to stroke through locks of pink hair. Cherry lets him, fighting the urge to nuzzle his head into the touch like a cat. “It’s bad enough how much he hurt you before, but this? If you hit your head the wrong way tonight, he could have killed you.”

“You’re so dramatic,” Cherry sighs. “It’s… it’s fine. It was a beef, that’s how these things go.”

“It’s not fine,” Joe says, his tone bitter. “He got away with it all those years ago when he-“

“Kojiro,” Cherry swallows, desperately wanting to avoid any more painful memories tonight. “It’s not… I’m not a kid anymore. I’m not going to do what I did-“

“I know you won’t. And I don’t hold the first time against you.”

“Well you could a little bit,” Cherry grumbles. Stupid Joe always being understanding and chivalrous and everything. Sometimes Cherry wishes he would just be an asshole to prove he isn’t perfect or something. 

Guilt nags at his heart when he remembers all he’s put his best friend through, whether it was his fault or not. He knows Joe sees it as what  _ Adam _ put them through, but still… he’d broken Joe’s heart all those years ago and not once has Joe used it against him. Of course they rarely have genuine fights, their playful bickering being more of a crazy love language, but Cherry had wanted to beat Adam so bad tonight for  _ him _ . He wanted to crush Adam and show Joe he’s not the broken insecure boy he once was. Cherry’s not someone who will push him away again because his heart is in too many pieces. He will, however, push Joe away for acting like a dumb adorable meathead.

“Are you okay?”

“It’s just a scratch, I told you-“

“You know what I mean, Kaoru,” Joe whispers his name with such affection, Cherry has to turn and hide his face against Joe’s chest. 

“I’m just pissed off,” Cherry says. “He really fucked up our lives at one point, it’d be nice to just beat him for once.”

“Trust me, I wanted to beat the shit out of him tonight.”

“I do appreciate you holding back your ape-like rage.”

“Thank you, I try.” Joe wraps one arm around Cherry’s waist, careful not to brush against any injuries. His warmth is addicting and Cherry is exhausted enough to lean into it without a fight. 

He knows he can be obnoxious playfully resisting affection all the time, but it’s the one way he can shake off the feeling that he isn’t good enough for what he has right here — Kojiro Nanjo loving him like the sun shines out of his ass. 

“Do you… think my skating is boring?” Cherry sighs, unable to resist asking. It’s still nagging at him even if he insists he doesn’t give a fuck what Adam thinks.

“I think it’s the opposite. I think you’re the most creative skater there is at S.”

“Tsch.”

“I mean it.” Joe shrugs. “It’s not like you just bought some fancy board to skate for you, you literally invented your own way of skating. You do impossible things out there. Adam just thinks anyone who isn’t actively trying to kill or fuck their opponent is boring.”

“That’s true enough.” Cherry yawns, hoping that in the low light of the room, Joe won’t see him blush. “I’m tired… Can we postpone any more feelings talk until I’m slightly less concussed?”

“Only if you keep cuddling me like this, it’s a rare sight.”

“Shut up or I’ll kick you out of your own bed,” Cherry mumbles against him, but he snuggles in closer nonetheless. It really is a little cold and Joe’s warmth and strength is exactly what he needs around him right now. 

“I’ll be good,” Joe says with a smile and Cherry relishes the soft kiss he presses against his forehead. “Get some rest. I’ll wake you in a couple hours to check in.”

“...And you’re not going anywhere, right?”

“I’ll be right here, Kaoru.”

“Okay…”

******

It’s not the first time Cherry dreams about their first time again. He isn’t sure why out of all his memories, painful or otherwise, that this one comes back in vivid color so often when he sleeps, but it does. Sometimes little things are different. Sometimes the focus is on the sex and he wakes before things go awry. Sometimes it’s more about Kojiro’s words to him and he wakes up heavy with guilt. 

Tonight, it’s just the memory.

“Kaoru, you can’t let him do this to you,” Joe murmurs, one hand stroking Cherry’s back as they stand at the middle of the half-pipe. This place belongs just to the two of them, but it feels infiltrated now — Cherry’s mind constantly elsewhere no matter how many times he tries to stop and focus on the boy in front of him. 

He just cracked his second board this week trying to recklessly attempt another trick he shouldn’t. He doesn’t want to admit it’s what he’s doing, but part of him thinks if he could just get  _ better _ , maybe Adam would come back… Maybe Cherry could dazzle him, show him that he’s worth noticing. 

All he’s succeeded in so far is hurting himself and breaking board after board. 

“Let me see your wrist,” Joe says and examines it tenderly when Cherry holds it out. “Flex your fingers.”

Cherry does and winces. 

“Does this hurt?”

“No.”  _ Yes. _

“It might be a sprain — a small one, but still. Don’t be so reckless, you need your hands for calligraphy and you’ll be miserable if you can’t do it.” 

“Yeah, well, I’m already miserable,” Cherry mutters, nudging the broken board with his foot.

“Don’t say that,” Joe sighs. “My place is empty. Come back with me and let me wrap your hand at least.”

Cherry agrees with a nod of his head and leaves the broken board where it lies, following Joe to his motorcycle. 

At least he has this. 

Adam may have broken his stupid heart into a dozen pieces, but climbing onto the back of Joe’s bike, hugging his waist tight and hiding his face from the wind against his best friend’s shoulder — it’s the closest he gets to feeling okay these days. 

It’s a short ride to Joe’s place and Cherry tries not to wince at his wrist when they climb off of the bike. Wordlessly, he follows Joe to the bathroom, knowing the drill by now as he hops up on the counter and holds out his arm. 

“Since when do you know first aid?” Cherry narrows his eyes as Joe opens the medicine cabinet. It’s a little late to be asking — Joe’s been treating his scrapes and bruises more and more often as of late, but Cherry’s more prone to ignore his injuries if he isn’t dragged into the bathroom for bandages. 

“I watched a YouTube tutorial since you decided to go on self destruct mode,” Joe says with a cocked eyebrow as he takes out a roll of ace bandage and tears the end free with his teeth. “Come here,” he says and is kind enough not to point out Cherry’s blushing as he begins to carefully wrap his wrist. 

His skin tingles where Joe’s fingers brush his bare skin, pressing lightly and asking him what hurts where and how bad. Maybe his heart is just sore, but it’s… nice. Joe is standing close and he smells like the douchey deodorant he always wears. 

“You’re really worrying me,” Joe says, his voice far more serious than Cherry is used to. “I can’t stand that he hurt you so much, I-“

“He didn’t hurt me,” Cherry glares. “I’m  _ fine _ , I’m just trying to get… better.”

“Kaoru.” Joe’s eyes are so sad as he looks at him, still carefully bandaging his wrist to keep things stiff. “You deserve someone who sees how incredible you are, not some douchebag who ditches us at a moment's notice.”

“Tsch.” Cherry shrugs, grimacing as Joe fastens the bandage. He doesn’t want to stop touching him yet. “Like who?”

Joe stares at him.

“What?” Cherry narrows his eyes, trying to ignore the way his heart thumps. 

Joe narrows his eyes right back. 

“Well?” Cherry scoffs. “What, are you just gonna look at me? You can’t just say something like that and-“

“Shut up, Kaoru,” Joe sighs, strong hands rising to cup Cherry’s face in an impossibly tender gesture as he leans in and kisses him.

Cherry’s eyes fly wide, blood rushing to his cheeks as he looks at the way Joe’s eyes are closed, blushing high on his cheeks. This is... genuine? He makes a surprised little sound and kisses him back cautiously, apprehensive, his whole body flaming with embarrassment and nerves when Joe playfully tugs on his lip ring. 

“For someone so smart, you’re a real idiot sometimes.” Joe’s pressing their foreheads together, his hands dropping to Cherry’s thighs. 

On another day, Kaoru might playfully push him away, tell him not to be such a sap and they shouldn’t ruin what they have no matter how hard his heart is pounding. But Joe is right. Adam hurt him and the only thing that’s come close to making him feel better is spending time with this person, his idiot best friend who he loves to death no matter how much shit they give each other. 

“You deserve someone who loves you,” Joe continues, pushing Cherry’s hair back behind his ears and kissing him again, briefly. “Someone who doesn’t ignore you.”

Cherry gulps as Joe caresses his jaw. It feels so  _ good _ . Would it be so bad for him to give into instinct just this one time? Listen to his gut? 

“If you don’t want this, I would never force it on you,” Joe continues, leaning in and nuzzling their noses together. Cherry’s lips part in anticipation of the next kiss before he even realizes it. Joe’s lips are warm and soft, his hands strong where they’ve rested once again on his thighs, rubbing a little up and down through his jeans. He likes the touch. “We can pretend I never said anything.”

“Well, you  _ did _ say something,” Cherry breathes, spreading his thighs a little bit further and watching as Joe accepts the invitation to step closer. “I mean, I just… I…” he curses himself and takes a deep breath. He can scrape together his dignity tomorrow. Right now, he wants to feel something other than hurt and he  _ knows _ that he does love Joe. He knows it even if he can’t admit it yet. The only thing standing in the way is the pang in his chest whenever he thinks of Adam and maybe if he tries to give himself up, he can rid himself of it. Joe is more right for him than Adam ever was, if he can just  _ convince _ himself to let go of this stupid pain and lean into something that’s good for him… he’s never been good at taking care of himself. 

“We don’t have to-“

“Fuck me,” Cherry says, his eyes serious and dark with want as he grabs the collar of Joe’s shirt and yanks him in close. If they’re going to do this, he isn’t going to be some broken hearted damsel in distress waiting for Joe to swoop in and save him. If they’re doing this, then they’re  _ doing _ this. Maybe the love of someone who actually cares about him can stitch his heart back together. 

“Yeah?” Joe raises his eyebrows, sliding his hands further up Cherry’s thighs.

It’s not like it’s too much of a leap for them. Even when Adam was around, there were a few times where they kissed in games of spin the bottle, a couple drunken or stoned make out sessions they had laughed about and teased each other mercilessly for in the morning. They don’t talk about those times as much, but when they were really young and just figuring things out — their sexualities and all that fun angst stuff — they’d jerked off in the same room before a couple of times, watching porn together and talking about what they liked. He doesn’t like to reminisce on those occasions so much though, kicking his younger self for being so unabashedly horny. He’s learned some self control since those times, but still, Cherry can’t count the amount of times he’s seen Joe naked — the man hardly owns any shirts to begin with — and though it’s been a lot rarer of a sight, Joe has seen his body more than enough times too. It doesn’t feel like a huge step to take his clothes off. 

“ _ Yeah _ ,” Cherry whispers before kissing him again, initiating it himself this time and wrapping an arm around Joe’s neck to keep him close when he licks into his mouth. Joe makes a pleased sound into the kiss and Cherry shivers when Joe’s hands dip, stroking the insides of his thighs, dangerously close to the undeniable bulge rising in his jeans. He wonders if Joe likes the cool metal of his lip ring or if it’s more of a nuisance, but Joe seems to read his mind as always. 

“Your ring is so hot,” Joe breathes against him, his breath hot and heavy when he sucks Cherry’s bottom lip into his mouth and uses his tongue to play with the piercing in a way that sends blood rushing between his legs. 

_ Fuck _ , he’s hard. He’s really,  _ really _ hard.

“Yeah?” Cherry pushes a hand into Joe’s hair. “That why you dared me, huh?”

“Have you ever known me to have anything but the purest intentions?”

“Shut up,” Cherry says and grabs Joe’s hand, taking the initiative himself and pushing it those final few inches between his legs. He presses it down against himself and groans, leaning in to nip at Joe’s ear (and hide his blushing face). “I hope you didn’t think I was some passive bottom for you to have your way with.”

“Well…”

Cherry pulls back and cocks an eyebrow.

“Kidding!” Joe holds his free hand up in mock surrender and massages Cherry through his jeans, squeezing him through the denim. 

It’s not like this is Cherry’s first time — or Joe’s for that matter — but he’s still having to put the work in not to let his nerves or his stupid angst get in the way of this. He shoves any thoughts of Adam to the side and swallows his anxiety, rolling his hips up against Joe’s hand instead and biting his lip just to watch the way Joe stares at his mouth. 

He’d lost his own virginity out of sheer stubbornness a year ago. Tired of hearing about Joe’s sexcapades (god damn it, had he been jealous?) and being generally behind his peers in sexual experience, he’d given it up to a senior he met in the calligraphy club. It had been lackluster, but not awful. There had been a few other clumsy hook ups, but they never felt quite right. Ugh, he’d spent a ridiculous amount of time imagining what it would be like with Adam, so sure that if it was with him, that it would feel right. 

But things with Joe are different. Maybe this time, things will just  _ work _ . 

“So are you gonna take me to your bed or try to fuck me on your bathroom sink because I don’t think that’d be logistically convenient.”

“Will you scratch my eyes out if I carry you?”

“Maybe.” 

Joe rolls his eyes and lifts Cherry anyways, kissing him as he hooks his arms under his thighs and carries him away from the counter.

“Well don’t carry me blind, idiot. I already have one injury,” Cherry mocks, but he takes the opportunity to drag his lips down Joe’s neck as they make their way into the adjoining bedroom. 

Cherry lands on the bed with a soft sound and finds Joe over him in an instant, lavishing his neck in affection and wet kisses that pull an involuntary sigh from his lips. He kicks his shoes off blindly and tips his head, inviting Joe to continue as he tries not to squirm too much. Why does that feel so  _ good _ ? All of the hickies he’s received in the past were sloppy and a little gross, but Joe’s mouth is warm and wet and  _ God _ , the stupid meathead really does know what he’s doing. 

He briefly wonders if it would have been this way with Adam. Would Adam have paid him this kind of attention? He likes to think so, but in reality, he knows he would probably be treated more like a play thing. Fuck, he needs to stop thinking of that stupid asshole and pay attention to the man actually paying attention to him. 

“Off,” he says simply, tugging at Joe’s shirt until he raises himself up on his knees and tugs it over his head. 

_ Jesus Christ _ , Joe is something else. He’s only just started to focus on body building lately, but Cherry is only human for fuck’s sake and now that he’s letting himself look, he’s realizing his best friend is a runway level Adonis. 

He shrugs his own jacket off and unbuttons his shirt as quickly as he can with his wrist wrapped, discarding the fabric somewhere on the floor and laying back with his thighs parted. He knows how good he looks like this. He may have… taken some pictures before just to see what he looked like in this position. Cherry knows his hair is spread out around him, that his tits are cute, that his face is flushed with arousal and his lip ring is probably catching the lamp light from across the room. 

Joe looks honestly smitten for a moment, placing his hand flat on Cherry’s stomach and smoothing it upward, thumbing over the outlines of his abs then up to brush over one nipple.

“I don’t think I can quite satisfy what your girlfriends can in this department.”

“Girlfriends,” Joe chuckles, still toying at Cherry’s nipple with his thumb, rubbing it gently as it perks beneath his touch. “You don’t get it, do you?”

“Get what?”

“Sex is fun and you clearly weren’t… interested before,” Joe shrugs his shoulders. “But I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t trying to make you a little jealous. You know you’d always blush when I talked to you about hookups.”

“Shut up,” Cherry huffs, his face burning bright red to emphasize Joe’s point. God it feels good having his chest played with, but he doesn’t want to give Joe the satisfaction — even when Joe’s second hand comes up to caress his other pec and his back arches right into the touch. “You seriously want me over any of the other people you’ve fucked?”

“I got around, but I haven’t actually fucked that many people.” Joe leans over him again, bracketing him in with two strong arms, his weight on his elbows. “Besides, aren’t you grateful for my expertise going into this? And yes, I’ve wanted you over anyone else for years.” He nuzzles their noses together and kisses Cherry so tenderly, it breaks right through his snarky armor for a moment, his arms wrapping around Joe’s neck to hold him close and keep the kiss from breaking. “You really are dumb sometimes.”

“I did your math homework for like a year.”

“And yet you still didn’t notice how  _ obviously  _ in love with you I’ve been. I don’t just cook for every guy who walks through my door.”

“You said you want to open a restaurant some day, isn’t cooking for everyone who walks through your door exactly what you’ll be doing?”

“You know what I  _ mean _ ,” Joe smiles as he slides one hand back down Cherry’s torso and between his legs again, squeezing. “Are you sure you want to do this?”

He actually gets a twinge in his chest saying  _ no _ . It’s not true, he does want this. He thinks he might spontaneously combust if Joe doesn’t get his clothes off in the next thirty seconds, but at the same time, he’s afraid he’s going to fuck this up. As painful as it is to admit, his heart is raw after losing Adam. He wants to give himself to Joe whole, not broken and hung up on someone who doesn’t deserve the time of day. 

But Joe is here  _ now _ . 

Cherry needs him  _ now _ . 

“Yes,” Cherry murmurs against Joe’s lips, punctuating the assurance with a kiss that Joe hums pleasantly into. “So fuck me before I change my mind.” 

“You have no idea what you’re in for,” Joe chuckles, leaning up to nip once at Cherry’s ear before he starts a slow journey downward. 

At first Cherry frowns, confused as Joe kisses down his neck, then his chest, slowly trailing over his abs. Is he…? No, there’s no way. He can hardly even picture Joe on his knees for someone —  _ maybe _ for a girl, but this? 

Regardless of Cherry’s doubt, Joe kisses all the way down to his navel and makes quick work of unbuckling his belt and dragging down his zipper. He pops the button with his thumb and dives in immediately, mouthing over his hard on through his underwear. 

“ _ Kojiro _ ,” Cherry hisses in surprise, his hand flying up to cover his mouth as he moans and rolls his hips upward. Mother _ fucker _ is there anything about Joe he  _ does _ know? 

“I like these,” Joe says, running his thumb over the waistband of Cherry’s underwear. It’s pink and simple, but he’s suddenly a little embarrassed about wearing them. “I’d make fun of you for wearing panties if you weren’t so sexy in them.”

“They’re not… panties,” Cherry blushes. Technically they are, but they fit him just fine and they’re comfortable to skate in. 

“They look good, Kaoru.” Joe’s tone is kind, nonjudgmental as he hooks his fingers around the belt loops of his jeans and tugs. “Hips up.”

Cherry wants to tell him not to order him around, but it seems less dignified at this point to pretend he doesn’t want this than to admit he desperately does. He raises his hips and Joe finishes undressing him in one efficient  _ whoosh _ of fabric being pulled down his legs and quickly discarded elsewhere. He’s naked now, legs slightly spread (Joe better have changed these sheets recently) and his arousal obvious, hard and heavy against his stomach — evidence of Cherry’s desire that he can’t hide with sarcasm or prickly comebacks. 

Joe has Cherry’s thighs over his shoulder in moments, looking up at him for approval as he hovers above them. 

It’s all Cherry can do to bite his lip and nod his head before Joe is taking him in his mouth and his eyes are rolling back. God, the amount of times he’s been on his knees for someone or other (just a few times, but still) and he had no idea being on the receiving end could feel this good. 

“ _ Fuuck _ ,” he groans, his back bowing, but his hips staying planted out of sheer determination. The last thing he wants to do is buck or squirm like some virgin, but the only time he’s ever had his dick sucked was way too sloppy with more teeth than desired. This is  _ very _ different. 

Joe’s hands smooth up and down his thighs as he sucks, swallowing around Cherry like it’s an art he mastered long ago. He hums low in his throat and does things with his tongue Cherry thinks are (or  _ should be _ ) extremely illegal with the slutty noises they’re managing to elicit from him. Even the subtle way Joe is dragging his fingernails over his skin gives him tingles and he’s tangling Joe’s hair in his hands before he can even help himself. 

“Kojiro,” Cherry whimpers — genuinely  _ whimpers _ . It’s so good. Everything is hot and wet and  _ perfect _ . He almost cries out in protest when Joe lifts his head, but then his mouth is journeying elsewhere. He kisses over his sac (something that should be absolutely humiliating but is somehow the hottest thing anyone’s ever done) and his inner thighs, sucking a few light love marks to the pale skin there too while Cherry pants and squirms at his mercy. 

“Kaoru,” Joe answers with a wink, pulling off just to kiss down his length and drag his tongue right back up the underside. “There’s lube in the nightstand.”

“Well fucking get it before I have an aneurysm,” Cherry huffs, covering his face with his hands and blushing fiercely as Joe leaves him momentarily to fetch what they need. “Wear a condom.”

“I know,” Joe assures him, tossing a couple on the bed along with a half filled tube of KY. 

“...How many times are you expecting to fuck me?”

“Just the once unless you want more,” Joe teases as he drags down the zipper of his jeans and finally rids himself of his own clothing. “It’s just in case one breaks, don’t stress out.”

Cherry’s eyes bug a little at the sight. Okay, he’s seen Joe’s dick at least a dozen times before but even in their awkward mutual masturbation sessions he hadn’t seen it in such vivid detail. It’s even bigger when he’s hard and the size should scare him a bit, but instead he feels almost dizzy. He wants it. If anything can fuck him so hard he forgets Adam’s name, by God, it’s that. 

Joe slides back into bed beside him and Cherry is grateful to be pulled into his arms and kissed. He can taste himself a little on Joe’s tongue and it’s somehow sexy instead of gross. His heart is hammering with nerves and excitement, Joe’s hard on nudging against his hip, a constant reminder that Joe wants him too. He can’t help but relish in it a little, this feeling of being loved instead of begging for crumbs of attention.

Joe pulls their bodies flush together, an arm around Cherry’s waist, a firm hand that slides down to grab his ass.

“Barbarian,” Cherry teases between kisses, but he loves it and Joe knows it too. “You gonna get on with it?” He breathes against him, sliding his own hand down to palm over Joe’s arousal. It’s hot to the touch and responsive, twitching subtly in his hand as he gives it a few strokes and watches pink bloom high on Joe’s tan cheeks.

“Only if I can keep kissing you.”

“You’re very corny in bed, have any of your hook ups ever told you that?”

“Nope.” Joe reaches for one of the condoms and tears it open with his teeth before Cherry pulls his hand away to allow him to roll it on. “I’m not corny with people I don’t have feelings for.”

That really shouldn’t make his heart flutter as much as it does. 

Cherry watches as Joe flicks open the lube with his thumb and slicks up his fingers, chewing on his lip ring out of habit as he rolls onto his back again and spreads his legs enough to be inviting, but not too obscene. 

“Tell me if it hurts.”

“If it hurts, you won’t be fucking me.”

“Touché,” Joe nods, his eyes and his smile impossibly kind as he tucks himself snugly into Cherry’s side and reaches between his thighs. 

Looking at him, Cherry feels almost impossibly safe — like he knows Joe really won’t hurt him, that he’ll be patient to a fault, that Cherry can tell him to stop and he will immediately. He reaches one hand up into dark green hair, gently raking his fingers through the strands as the first finger circles his entrance. 

He’s never been fully prepared by someone before. He’d always done it himself and worn a plug before any planned hook ups, not trusting the guys he was with to pay enough attention not to hurt him.

Joe is different. 

“Oh, Kaoru,” he whispers, reverent as he begins to kiss up Cherry’s neck and pushes the first finger inside.

Cherry gasps a little at the breach and Joe stills, waiting for him to take a deep breath and relax his muscles before he curls the digit inside of him and Cherry swears his eyes go crossed. “Oh  _ fuckk _ , what the fuck how’d you find it so quickly?” He groans as the finger pulses on that sweet spot. Any fingers inside him have always been clumsy. He expected Joe to be an experienced and attentive lover, but he hadn’t expected the difference to be so astronomical.

“You’re easy to feel out,” Joe murmurs, nuzzling his nose against Cherry’s ear as he begins to work the finger in and out. “Feels good?”

He gives a desperate nod. 

“Good,” Joe’s voice is low against Cherry’s ear and it makes him shiver. 

Another thought of Adam nudges it’s way into Cherry’s consciousness, wondering if he ever would have taken the time and been patient if they had made love, but Cherry is quick to shove the thought away. It doesn’t matter what Adam would have done because  _ fuck _ Adam. The person he’s with right now is making him feel brand new and that’s what matters. That’s what he needs to think about.

“You’re so tight.”

“You just have giant fingers.”

Joe chuckles a little and presses his lips against Cherry’s temples. “You’re beautiful when you’re blushing.”

“Anyone would blush with someone’s finger in their ass,” Cherry frowns, but he knows he’s blushing far more from the intimacy than the pleasure. Fucking Joe knows it too. 

“Ready for the second one?”

Cherry opens his mouth to make some snarky remark about how of course he can handle another stupid finger, but he stops himself. He wants Joe to ask him things like that. “Yeah,” he answers, threading Joe’s hair through his fingers and taking another deep breath to keep his stubborn muscles relaxed. “Give it to me.”

They go on like that for a little while, Joe carefully opening him up bit by bit, kissing him sweetly on his lips, his neck, his jaw, his collar — anywhere his lips can comfortably reach as Cherry starts to unlock little by little. He’s always been an anxious person and, naturally, it leaves him tense. It takes a while, but the kisses and the gentle touches, they’re what really allow him to accept something penetrating his body. 

Joe’s fingers pleasure him expertly, curling and massaging his insides to send warm waves and pleasure up his spine again and again. Cherry feels like he’s melting right into the mattress, his cock untouched, but weeping with pre-come as he accepts everything he’s given. 

“I think you can take it now. How does it feel?”

“Fuck, I think I like you fingering me so much, I might not even need to fuck,” Cherry sighs, reaching up and pushing the hair out of Joe’s eyes before he kisses him. “I can take it.”

Joe nibbles at his lip ring when they kiss, giving it one more playful tug before he removes his fingers and shifts to slick himself up and lie over Cherry. He supports his weight on his elbows to keep from crushing him and Cherry opens his legs, letting Joe hitch one up and over his hip.

“Kojiro,” Cherry breathes, his eyes fluttering shut when he feels the press of Joe against him, just nudging against the rim to give plenty of time for warning and adjustment. He shivers with anticipation, his whole body hot as he wraps his arms around Joe’s neck and kisses the side of his nose. He has plenty of bitchy things he could be saying, but it’s taking all of his brain power to keep himself in the moment and push Adam out of his head. 

He wants this. It’s okay for Joe to know that. 

“Tell me if it’s too much,” Joe whispers, reaching down to guide himself as he pushes forward. 

Cherry hisses slightly when the tip breaches him, the stretch a little painful, but Joe stops cold at the sound and that’s the opposite of what he wants. “Keep going.”

“Does it hurt?”

“Only a little bit. It’s going to, you’re the size of a fucking Pringles can,” Cherry pants, pushing the hair out of Joe’s eyes so he can look into them unobstructed. “I want it. Just… go slow.”

Joe nods and kisses his cheek as he eases himself further in, giving Cherry time to adjust before he starts to rock his hips in shallow little thrusts.

Cherry doesn’t realize what he’s doing for a moment until he feels his body gradually giving way, relaxing around him. Before, his partners had just shoved the whole thing in and waited until Cherry could stop gritting his teeth to start fucking, but this way? Joe pushes in just a little bit deeper every other thrust, letting Cherry take him slowly, bit by bit. 

“ _ Oh _ ,” Cherry gasps when Joe hits that spot deep inside him just right. 

“There?”

“There,” he sighs, eyes slipping shut as Joe repeats the motion, fucking him at a slow but steady pace to get things going. 

Cherry’s taking him all the way in now and it didn’t even take him long to adjust. The slide is slick and hot, with the perfect amount of drag, so when Joe nudges up against that spot, Cherry really feels it.

“Kojiro,” he whines, nails scraping down Joe’s back as his own spine arches up off the bed. “I’m not made of glass. I’m good.”

“But you’re so adorable like this,” Joe teases, sliding his hand up to Cherry’s chest again and thumbing over his nipple. “God, look at you.” He takes Cherry’s other leg and hikes it up too, pushing their bodies closer together as Cherry wraps his legs around his hips. “You’re a pain in the ass,” Joe punctuates the statement with a sharp pump of his hips that has Cherry fisting the bedsheets, “but you’re so beautiful, Kaoru.”

“Don’t be so-” Cherry trails off into a whimper, eyes rolling back as Joe begins to fuck him in earnest, the bed frame creaking ever so slightly as they rock together. He’s never had something this big inside him before. He’s never felt this  _ good _ during sex with anyone else. 

“So what?” Joe nips at his lip ring. “So incredible at sex? So devilishly handsome?”

“Shut up and keep doing  _ exactly _ what you’re fucking doing,” Cherry huffs, trying to resist the urge to stroke himself. He doesn’t want this to end too soon and he also doesn’t want Joe to see how desperate he is, but if his dick doesn’t have a hand around it in the next few minutes, he thinks he might faint. He’s never been able to come untouched before and the overstimulation without relief makes him dizzy in a way that’s mind bogglingly erotic and incredibly frustrating at the same time. 

“So tight,” Joe murmurs, turning his head and licking hot little circles over each of the hickies he’s already left. Bastard. It’ll take Cherry an hour in the morning to cover them up, but God, if he doesn’t love Joe’s mouth on his neck. 

“Fuck, fuck,  _ God _ ,” Cherry babbles, tipping his head back to encourage him and rolling his body up to try and grind against something —  _ anything _ . His whole body is full of electricity, Joe sending sparks all the way to the tips of his toes with each thrust. 

“I’ll take care of you, don’t worry,” Joe says with an affectionate kiss to the corner of Cherry’s mouth. 

Cherry makes the mistake of looking right into his eyes and feels a pang in his chest. Joe isn’t grinning like he does when he’s won or when he’s fucking with him. His eyes are soft and full of adoration, a small smile on his lips, his face flushed as sweat begins to break on his forehead. He looks so kind, in a moment of weakness, his mind and body too distracted with pleasure, Cherry feels his eyes sting. 

Would Adam have taken this much time? Would he have told him that he’d take care of him? What’s wrong with him that he couldn’t see Joe in front of him this whole time? God, all the nights he spent lamenting about Adam not noticing or appreciating him and Joe had listened every time. Joe had cheered him up and made him laugh and pushed his buttons until they were bickering about something so stupid, Cherry would forget Adam entirely. 

Why did Joe wait for him?

“Kaoru,” Joe groans, the sound low in his chest. “I can’t believe you’re really taking me, fuck, I mean…” he pauses his thrusts for a moment and grabs Kaoru’s hand, taking it and pressing it down on his abdomen, so he can feel the bulge of Joe inside him. 

“Holy shit.” Cherry almost feels faint. 

“I love you so fucking much,” Joe says and kisses him before Cherry can formulate a response. 

They’re still holding hands, Joe pinning it above his head and threading their fingers together, swallowing each other’s moans as they start to build up to a punishing pace together.

Cherry’s heart is warring with his brain even as he kisses Joe back with all the passion he’s being given. He wants to scream ‘I love you too!’ He  _ does _ . He loves Joe so much it hurts, but what on Earth is he doing here? His best friend is in love with him. His best friend has  _ been _ in love with him. And what did Cherry do? He took him straight to bed, knowing Joe wouldn’t be able to resist,  _ knowing _ that no matter how much he knows he loves Joe back with all his heart, he’s  _ still _ hung up on Adam. Even if the thoughts were derogatory, how often has he thought of that blue haired asshole since they started kissing?

Cherry’s eyes are watering, so he pushes a hand into Joe’s hair and guides his face back into his neck, moaning loud to encourage him when he begins to kiss and suck on the skin there again. He doesn’t want Joe to see his face, not until he can school himself, but the feeling of being so connected with him right now is proving too intense to handle. 

He has to bite his lip to keep from crying out just at the intoxicating way Joe is fucking him into this mattress, but his chest is growing tight and his eyes keep watering no matter how much he blinks.

Did he take advantage of Joe by taking him to bed? This stupid sweetheart of a man is making love to him and Cherry’s done nothing to deserve it. He doesn’t deserve this immense pleasure, this love blooming in his heart for someone who has been here for him from day one — someone who deserves to be loved by a person who isn’t distracted by an old crush they can’t seem to shake. 

His mouth wobbles and he squeezes his eyes tight, trying to push the emotions back, but he can’t. Everything is too raw, too real, too  _ everything _ . He doesn’t realize he’s fallen silent until Joe goes still and lifts his head. 

“Hey, how we doing?” Joe whispers against his ear, kissing the shell of it. “If you’re too sore, we can-“

“We shouldn’t do this,” Cherry hiccups, staring up at the ceiling with a sick feeling in his stomach. “I… I-I shouldn’t have let you do this, we have to stop.”

Joe is quiet for a moment, completely still. Cherry’s heart hammers as he waits for a response and he can feel Joe is trembling a little — so subtly only Cherry would notice. 

“What?” Joe’s voice is soft and broken when he raises his head enough to meet Cherry’s eyes. “I… You said…” he blinks and mumbles a quiet apology as he pulls out and maneuvers himself away, sitting beside Cherry on the bed and silently handing him the corner of a blanket to cover himself with.

“Kojiro, you don’t deserve this,” Cherry sniffles, his heart weighing tons as he pulls the blanket over his laugh. “I… I love you. I do. I  _ know _ I do, I love you  _ so _ much, but I’m… I’m not over him,” he hiccups and presses his hand to his lips, mortified that he’s losing his composure, but he can’t help it. “I want to be. I want to be over it so badly, but I’m just not and you deserve to be with someone whose attention isn’t divided.”

Joe watches him as he speaks, listening intently, his eyes soft and sad. He looks crushed and Cherry despises himself. It wasn’t bad enough he kept Joe waiting all this time, but now he’s pushing him away. “Don’t cry,” he says, reaching out and putting a hand on Cherry’s knee, squeezing. “It’s okay.”

“How is it okay?” Cherry croaks, looking at Joe’s hand in awe. 

“Kaoru, I love you. Yes, I want this, but not at the cost of your friendship, or… having you in my life.” Joe shrugs and takes a deep breath. “Look, I shouldn’t have jumped the gun like this. I know you’re still hurting, I just… I wanted to make you forget him. I wanted to make things better.”

“You did.” Cherry swallows the lump in his throat and puts his hand over Joe’s. “You’re the only thing that’s made  _ any _ of this better and I just… I can’t… I can’t risk this. I need you.” He doesn’t think he’s ever been this honest with Joe in his entire life, but the words keep bubbling out before he can stop them. “It’s not that I don’t love you in the same way, I  _ do _ . I’m just not… ready.”

“I understand,” Joe says and even though his disappointment is evident, his words, his expression, everything about him is still so impossibly kind. “Look, we can pretend this never happened and I’ll still be right here. I’m not going anywhere.” He slides out of bed and bends over to press one more kiss to the top of Cherry’s head. “And I’ll be here if you decide you’re ready for this too. I’ll be here if you decide you never want this at all.”

“I do want it, Kojiro,” Cherry sniffs. “I… need you to know that.”

“Then you just take your time and tell me when you’re ready.” Joe reaches out and tucks his hair back behind his ears, Kaoru leaning right into the touch. “Is this going to be another ‘never speak of this again or I’ll brutally murder you’ conversation?”

“Yes.” Cherry manages to crack a small smile. “Don’t you dare ever remind me that I started crying in the middle of sex with you.”

“But the sex was good up until that point though right?” Joe winks and Cherry pretends to scoff at him, batting him away with a few playful smacks on his arm. “Let me get dressed and cook dinner. You should still crash here tonight.”

Cherry’s heart swells at the offer, immense relief washing over him, seeing that Joe genuinely isn’t angry with him. “Could I bug you for some Tylenol too?” He asks, cocking his head towards his bandaged wrist and Joe just rolls his eyes.

“I may be in love with you, but this is a generic painkiller house, Kaoru.”

  
  


*****

Cherry wakes up with a pleasant feeling in his chest despite the soreness in his body. Often, the dreams are so much worse. Sometimes he feels like he’s really having a panic attack, his best friend on top of and inside him, reliving the humiliation of his crying and the guilt of turning Joe away. He’s glad he remembered more of the aftermath tonight — the kindness Joe had shown him after the whole ordeal.

He turns his head and is relieved to find Joe sleeping there next to him, his mouth half open and his hair all over the place. He’s never been a very handsome sleeper, but he is a little adorable.

Cherry just hopes he hasn’t put any doubts in Joe’s mind by getting into this beef with Adam. 

It had taken a long time after that first confession for them to get to where they are. It had taken Cherry a long time to lick his wounds and taken Joe just as long to trust that his love was genuine.

He remembers their first  _ real _ time fondly. He’d needed help hauling all of his art supplies and Carla all over creation at an art convention on the coast a few years ago, so naturally, he brought along a friend that could deadlift a semi truck if he wanted to. 

They’d ended up a little drunk on the hotel balcony that evening, a perfect sunset in front of them. They’d gotten to reminiscing about old times. One thing had led to another until, for the first time since it happened, Joe asked Cherry if he still felt the same way. 

Cherry had said yes and caught the glimmer of disappointment in Joe’s eyes, only to shrug and smile. Of course he still felt the same. Only now, there wasn’t a recent heartbreak standing in the way again. 

The sex had been slow and passionate and  _ perfect _ . 

As much as Cherry sometimes wishes he’d never pushed Joe away to begin with, he’s glad they ended up here. 

Joe’s phone begins to vibrate on the nightstand, interrupting his chain of thought, but before Cherry can bother him to turn it off, Joe is yawning and rising on his own.

He watches as Joe reaches blindly to shut off the quiet alarm and smiles at him when he turns back around.

“What are you doing already awake?” Joe asks, already running a hand through Cherry’s hair, smoothing it away from his face. “It’s the middle of the night, does anything hurt? Is it keeping you up?”

“I’m fine you big hypochondriac,” Cherry says with a yawn. “I had a weird dream.”

“Was I there?”

“Perhaps.”

“Well, did I look good in it?”

“I suppose you were portrayed favorably.” Cherry moves himself closer, only wincing slightly as he settles himself into Joe’s chest, letting those enormous arms wrap around him. “You really set an alarm to wake me up throughout the night? I told you, Carla can do it.”

“I don’t trust her.” Joe teases, nuzzling his nose affectionately into Cherry’s hair. “Everything feel okay?”

“Yes, I find the sensation of broken bones quite relaxing.” Cherry teases him, but leans up anyways to steal a kiss, lingering a moment and trying not to stew so much on how happy he is to wake up with Joe lying next to him. 

“What’s gotten into you?” Joe smiles when they part, giving him a gentle squeeze. “You can’t be nice to me for too long, you know. I’ll start to get an ego.”

“I think that ship sailed a decade ago,” Cherry sighs, his mind still lingering on the dream, on the memory of their first time in that beachside hotel. Joe is a warm, strong presence around him that he never wants to let go of. “Not to boost your already inflated ego, but I wanted to be sure I told you… I really don’t want you to worry about my beef with Adam. I’m never going back to the way I was with him when we were kids.”

“I know,” Joe nods, rubbing a soothing hand up and down Cherry’s back. “But thank you for saying it.”

Cherry lets out a pleased hum as a ‘you’re welcome’ and closes his eyes again, nestling into Joe’s firm chest. He’ll have to figure out some creative positioning in the morning. 

If there’s a perfect way to get revenge on the asshole who broke his heart, it’s to make love with the person who deserves him. 

“Goodnight, Kojiro.”

**Author's Note:**

> Come say hi on Twitter @nuttinonice and please leave comments/kudos if it's not a bother <3 I really love hearing from you guys!! This is my first time writing this particular pairing, so it may be a bit rusty. Hopefully, I'll get a better handle on them as I write more in the future.


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